went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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