theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
