champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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