I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
