awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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