You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
