the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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