Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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