just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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