Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
