you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
