I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
