somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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