dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
