you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
