Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
