apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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