yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
