spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
