Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
