I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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