I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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