I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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