But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
