She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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