he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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