we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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