girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
