It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
