I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
