oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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