Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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