allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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