Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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