You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
