the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
