if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
