Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
