Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
