Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You made out with two different species that night
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
