So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
