I just cut my nipple shaving
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize