What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
