every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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