Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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