i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
