it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
