Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
