Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
