Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
