his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
