First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
