Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
