so explain again why im purple
no
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
