member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
