But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
