i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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