so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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