Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
