if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
