its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am available for nakedness
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize