Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
