If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
