After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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