I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
my liver is dry heaving
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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