Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He shit in the fireplace
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
